Lately, I often think of how everything works out. I don’t believe much in destiny, or that there is one path laid out for me by someone else. Yet, there are times when certain choices become a necessity, not for any logical reason, but just because.
An accumulation of such choices in the past few months have led me to now, and it just seems right. I’ve been able to process all the thoughts and feel all the feelings from my travels in a positive way. I’m building for the future now, unlike a few months ago when I was throwing the bricks around in frustration.
I’m extremely grateful and satisfied with my time in Okinawa and at the Churaumi Aquarium. It was only for two months, and there were lots of ups and downs, but somehow all of it ended up progressing in a forward direction relative to where I stand. I am incredibly excited for the future, the challenges appear boundless yet some have taken visible form for me to be able to confront, face to face. Thanks to the turtles, the people, the dolphins, the aquarium, and everything else, I’m ready to move on, to build those foundations for that castle in the air.
I expected to come out stronger after all of this. Experiences increasing my repertoire of situations I can handle without being fazed. The adventures and travels would make me more knowledgeable, about the world and myself, creating a superb human-being, invincible, confident, happy. And this is what I’ve learned.
Lately I’ve been extra nostalgic of things that happened these past two years and longing too much for the near future when I return to the West Coast. Boston was awesome. I especially miss the nights. The Underbones nights with a glass of beer on tap I’ve never tried before, a plate of barbecued goodness, and good company. Walking through Harvard Square, late night after work, earphones in, debating whether or not to get a midnight snack before heading home. Walking out of the aquarium at night, an hour later than I could have, seeing the fountains going off across the street. Australia was a trip. On Green Island, with post work beer in hand, chilling in the corner, the smell of cigarettes and the sound of laughter surrounding us. Sitting in the library in Melbourne, reading book after book, not talking to anyone for days on end. The sunrise over Kata Tjuta, the sunset across Cable Beach in Broome. Exploring the greatness of nature. Traveling with my brother through New Zealand and South East Asia is a memory I’ll treasure forever. Bungee jumping, black water rafting, exploring ruins, and eating food memorable both in taste and locale with the “annoying little brother” who isn’t so little or so annoying these days. Reality struck me during the travels. I’m becoming the annoying little one.
The future is just as memorable, it just hasn’t happened yet so I can’t remember it. I have a feeling there’s going to be a lot of friends, a career, a girl, and an Oakland A’s world series title. Or maybe it won’t be like that at all. We’re not in college anymore. All of us have our own lives and it may not intertwine like I wish it to. A career is never guaranteed, much less so when you’ve spent the last two years hopping around. A girl might show up, but timing might not. A one-sided love affair that happened two days too early and two years too late. The A’s winning is actually the most constant and likely these days.
So the past was great, but it’s no more and the future might not hold what I long so desperately for. What can I do?
Yeah, I know. I’ve just got to do it. Finish what I started. With all I’ve got. That’s what the moment is about, isn’t it?
I’ve wanted to write something for the past few days, but anything I wrote down wasn’t cheesy enough, hence this randomble. Just all the junk that’s on my mind. You’ve been warned.
I currently have a rain boot tan. It’s disgusting. The shoes are also a little too narrow around my calves (I insist that it’s the shoe that’s too narrow), and I have a bruise right where the tan line starts, making it even more prominent. Definitely ranks high in the worst types of tan line category.
The typhoons passed by in a hurry, though with two hitting back to back it seemed like it lasted a few days. It was fun feeling the room shake and not being able to open my door due to the wind pressure, though once is enough. It definitely won’t be much fun if it happens again. I did get to listen to Of Monsters and Men while it was raining, which I wanted to since I was in Melbourne. I don’t know why, it just seemed like proper background music on a rainy night.
I briefly looked up grad school options. Aquarium and zoo management was a career option posted on the Cal State Monterey Bay’s marine science M.S. catalog. Michigan State has a program for aquarium and zoo management too. I only looked at it for ten minutes. Maybe I’ll come back to it. I thought I knew what I wanted to do in a few months, but different possibilities are showing up.
Oh, here we go. I’ve got my usual sentimental juices flowing. Splitting the posts up to keep this a randomble and the next a proper ramble.
It’s been about 3 weeks since I landed in Osaka and I’ve been spending every day eating, visiting family, relaxing, and when I have time, eating more. (And it turns out I have more time than I can eat.) The summer heat is finally starting to lessen, although the humidity still lingers around, causing the general laziness to stick.
I debated since returning home whether I would continue posting on tumblr. The past two years of post graduate life have been unexpected and full of things I wanted to document. Unforgettable scenery and memorable events may need a little reminding in a few years and this was a place to archive everything. But in my mind, a chapter in my life came to an end when I returned home to Osaka. Naturally, it seemed fitting to end this blog now.
After some thought, I realized I enjoyed the last 447 posts. I only really know of five or six people who read this. It’s mainly a place for me to look back occasionally, to try and remember who I was before who I am. So this won’t be my last post, though posts will surely come less frequently than before. To those of you who do check this from time to time, thank you. And to myself who will surely be reading this in the future, the end of a chapter isn’t the end of the story. Off to new adventures, right?