This year the holidays are different. I’m alone. I’m not with my family in Japan and I’m a couple thousand miles away from most of my friends. My Christmas plans include sleeping in, reading books, and generally not doing anything.
Being completely honest, I thought I would be lonely. I thought that a part of me would crave the pity from others about how sad my holidays are going to be. I expected to put up a front saying that I’m doing fine and that I’d be content doing nothing for Christmas while deep down wishing that people would feel sorry for me. It’s just something about us humans that like to pity ourselves. To make it seem as though we’re stronger than we really are, yet hoping that someone would notice and really do something to comfort us. To ensure us that we aren’t alone. I thought that I would be feeling just that way this year.
To my surprise, I don’t feel that way. I’m not lonely. I do miss my friends and family. Without a doubt, I wish I could be with them. But I feel no self pity. No sadness. I’m not going to bed wishing that things were different right now.
I am truly blessed. As lucky as can be for feeling this way. I absolutely know that my family and friends love and miss me. I’m currently on an adventure. Trying to experience and understand life. I couldn’t have gone on this adventure and continue to do so without your support and love. In one way or another you have given me the best assurance that a person could have. I am, and never will be, alone.
So this is my way of expressing gratitude to everyone in my life who makes me feel this way. You are special to me. I miss you. I can’t wait until I see you again. Whether that be in two days, three months, six months or five years.